Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
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