I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize