I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize