How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Randomize