Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize