I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize