should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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