Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize