Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
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