Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
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New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
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My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
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