pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
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