My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize