He asked to "fluff my boner.."
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
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