Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
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