it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
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