i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
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