Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
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