I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
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I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
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He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
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