if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize