Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize