Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize