you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Randomize