ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
where are you?
Hypothermia
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize