I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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