Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
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