why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
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