I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
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the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
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OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
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