Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
i would punch a child for taco bell
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize