I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
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We talked him into tasing himself.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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