You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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