Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
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