everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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