Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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