I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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