So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
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Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
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He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
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