how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
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At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
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My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize