You made me cry and you don't even care
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
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