I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
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I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
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I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
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