Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
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she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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