I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Randomize