How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
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After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
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Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
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