I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Randomize