There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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