Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
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