I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
they need to just BURY HIM!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
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