do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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