I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize