This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
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Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
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Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
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