No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
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