This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Randomize